Sometimes perhaps, the thing that is holding us back is our memories of a certain place/location and maybe moving away from it would break free from the chain of certainty that we had grew accustomed to.
The only consolation to all this, is that I will still see a group of familiar faces; Just a different location.
We take peace for granted, it is quite obvious that we do; In our rush to archive something in life or to do multiple things at the same time to maximize the time spent we had neglected the serenity and the simplicity on taking one things at a time at a peaceful pace.
Perhaps one of the most enjoyable moment in life is when we could truly enjoy the process instead of rushing for an outcome.
I would like to believe that I am a decent landscape photographer (am terrible at portraiture really), but there is this certain sense of self while taking landscape pictures that I rarely get from portraiture or street photography.
For example on the above picture ( unedited jpg straight from the camera [so forgive the sensor dust :P] ); Before pressing the shutter I was just sitting on the beach listening to the waves looking at the clouds as the sun goes down.
There was no rush and no stress to it, I did not had to press the shutter even if I was viewing it through the viewfinder for the past 1/2 minutes, I did not have to worry that people would not like the picture or even if the picture did not turn out ok.
Truly it was a pointless and selfish act, in which nobody benefited from the picture other then me who enjoyed the moment being there as I press the shutter button.
Because perhaps when it comes to landscape, I didn’t care about the result as much as the experience of being there.
It’s been awhile since I had injured this badly, last serious bike accident was probably in 2007 when I skidded down and another bike hit the back of my bike and slide through above me; which luckily I was only ended up in minor scratch and bruises.
Not this time
Similar condition, it was raining and the road was wet; I took a corner, lost control and skidded down. Quickly stood up after the fall knowing that it is possible that there is a car behind me that might not see me on the ground, then wave to signal a white car who coincidentally was about to make the same turning as well.
The car stop and I tried to pick up my bike and move it to the side… and this is when I realized I had busted my shoulder; luckily there are other motorist that noticed and helped me move my bike to the side as I called Edward (who is working nearby) to help me out.
He arrived in a jiffy and pushed my back to his workplace, cleaned my wound and got another friend of ours to help and send me over to the hospital.
A couple of x-rays and discussion between the Accidents and Emergency doctors, they had concluded that it is not a shoulder dislocation nor do they see any fracture on the shoulder. I was however told to drop by the next morning to see a dedicated orthopedic; who then later on concluded that it was a soft tissue injury.
Thus comes to this point, which actually… its not that bad of an injury at all, though being unable to move my shoulder without feeling pain acted more of an annoyance then the pain itself.
Anyway 8 days off work, limited movement on my right arm; lets see what I can archive or complete within that time-frame (since its rare that I get time off work these days).
So I started working in a new company, for the time being lets called it CC. Theoretically it is actually not a new company for me since it actually belongs to a bigger company that I used to work in.
But yes I have to admit it is slightly weird to be surrounded by people who I know in the old company and yet I am actually in a different company with a completely different reporting structure.
That being said, it does feel like I abandoned them for the past 5 month and now struggling to be accepted by them once again. I suppose it is the same feeling in Band of Brothers when David Webster return from the hospital and noticed that everyone had changed in Easy company and they are in a way closed him off, feeling bitter that he did not came back earlier.
Second chance are only given to those who deserve them, and at this point of time I am not sure if I deserve their trust or acceptance just yet.
That there are people who are still illiterate here in Penang (not being able to read), yet are one of the most respectful people that I bumped into.
They are working at the warehouse beside the cafe as manual labor, and yet there was never a morning without a smile and a nod from them even though it is clear that some of them are physically drained from work.
Then there’s the opposite side of the spectrum, the majority of well dressed men and woman who are within the “Entitled” mentality group that believe that they are entitled to treat you as a slave just because they are the “customer” and thinking that you are being paid to serve and be their slave.
Being rude to the waiter for them is apparently a perfectly fine thing to do in-front of their date, children or in-laws.
With much bitterness, I came up with a conclusion that most of the people who respect waiters are either once a waiter or knew how it feels like to be look down upon.
Without a doubt I did become slightly bitter at humanity, but at the same time I had also learned a valuable lesson on respect and humility.
That being said, I had resigned from being a part time waiter (who was upgraded to a barista woohoo!) and looking forward to the next chapter in this bewildering but interesting journey of mine ( Hopefully back to a programmer as I deeply crave to code once again ).
So I took a part-time job as a waiter (also a Barista in training) in a new cafe located just right on the Georgetown heritage area buffer zone.
My unexpected decision on jumping into this (despite my professional IT experience and background) is simple, I wanted to learn to appreciate and be humble to others.
This started when I bumped into an article online (it is slightly controversial so I would not be posting the link here), but the paragraph that strike me was
“I only found humanity and big hearts in the people who had nothing.”
and upon deep thoughts and reflection, I realized on how people who can truly appreciate and understood are the one that is experiencing it or had experienced it before once in their life.
With that on my mind and when an opportunity came by (Friend of a Friend opening a Cafe), I made a jump and decided to go into it; not for the money, but for the life experience that comes with the job.
A short summary (hopefully to be expanded in the future) on the things that I had learned so far is :
- Missing out an order is one of the worst thing that you can ever do as a waiter, it is both demotivating and frustrating to all the staff in the cafe when this happens.
- Long hours of work is normal as a programmer, but standing, serving and constantly cleaning up for 12 hours plus is on a different level of a long hard day at work.
- Remembering the customer face, name or preference is a hard task, but one that is very rewarding both to the customer and the staff.
- Everyday is a long hard battle.
p.s. A simple ‘thank you’ and a smile from both the staff and the customer goes a long way.
Those who knows me knows that I am a normally a tensed person who have difficulties on relaxing, this however does not mean I am always on my toes but in particular I view every action as a task and focus on completing the task on a serious matter.
Perhaps way too seriously.
Now having this attributes does wonders in a working environment, every task was prioritized and completed accordingly; However as an individual it is a fallout to view ‘relaxation’ as a task because then it would be a contradictory to the very nature of relaxation itself.
Being the moron in the word oxymoron, I been viewing relaxation type of activity as a task and as a result of it I had noticed that I am unable to completely let go and relax.
So one part of a goal on this journey is to practice on not over-thinking, to let it go and to relax (when necessary).
Ironically I never view it as an attainable goal until I took a walk at a local park recently; it was the usual park that I had visited multiple times before but this time on an impulse I took a slightly different route that I am used to.
It was a different path, there were birds chirping and sun rays that streams through the gaps of the leaf on the trees, and unexpectedly I found myself enjoying the peaceful moment and completely nothing else.
So on a personal level, I learned that relaxation is to devoid of everything else and truly enjoy that peaceful moment right in-front of you.
Yesterday was my last day at work, it was a heavy decision for me to part ways with my amazing colleagues.
There were many up and down throughout my 7 years of tenure, but there were never once where I was truly alone; whenever I am stuck or needed help everyone was just a phone call away, and the best part of it is that they would go out of their way just to help out.
I am truly grateful for this, and hope that I had gone out of my way to help them as well.
Thank you for this awesome journey and hello to the unknown road ahead!
The past few years of my life has been a journey of ups and downs, and while I enjoy the little things in life; I had began to realize that I had stalled in multiple aspects of my life.
It’s like standing at the middle of the edge, petrified of what things will be. That is how I felt what my life had been, I was so scared of the future that I try so hard to maintain as it is despite knowing that things are just not meant to be.
Realization that there is no future on how things are; was a heart jabbing throat cutting experience, and the worse part of it is that I was destroying this incredible girl (who deserve a better future) down with me.
On one decision leads to another, I decided to go on another journey. We parted ways (from a six years of long distance relationship) and I resigned from a fulfilling yet hectic job to refocus my mind and energy to the unknown.
It was an amazing six years of my life that I will never regret, but I can’t no longer live the way I used to.
To live is to move forward.